Thursday, November 29, 2012


Update:  I am filled with joy to give you this update.  I am currently on my break period after chemoradiation, and I had my follow-up MRI this week.  It looked great!  There is still some swelling, so they cannot give me a “clear”, but the doctor was very pleased. 

I am still recuperating, praying and tapping daily.  I feel overall pretty good, but I tire easily and must take it slow, as I am still in off and on treatment.  I did my first massage in three months last week, and while it went very well, I realized that I need to re-strengthen my upper body before I can continue with it.  I have, however, resumed EFT and Reiki sessions.  They feel even more powerful to me now.

These tools were invaluable for my own use during this surprise illness.  I am so grateful to God for providing them to me to use to survive and get through the toughest time of my life.

I am returning to work gradually, so if you would like to set up a session, please call 843-696-1342.  Other therapists are available for massages through the Christmas season, and I do hope you will help support Healing Hands with Gift Certificates for your friends and family. 

Take care of yourselves this season!  If you would like to contact me directly, I would love to hear from you.  Please e-mail me at


Sunday, September 9, 2012

Tapping for Gratitude

Tapping on gratitude saved my life during a 2 am nightmarish, rushed MRI the night of my surgery, when I was in severe pain, couldn't see, couldn't move, and no one would tell me what was going on.  I went inward and mentally tapped on gratitude for that long 45 minutes in the MRI machine.  I was able to connect with God in this way, calm myself down, and breathe again. 

The following is a tapping script I made for myself afterwards for recovery from my major surgery.  I also recorded an audio of my own voice with music in the background that I tap along with daily.

No Set-up is required.  Just keep moving through the points, and say one phrase or line at each point.  Feel free to make your own gratitude list, and tap on that instead, as this one is specific to me.  Or just change the words to what applies to you.  There is a tapping chart here:  Just tap the points while reading.  Happy tapping!

I am grateful for my life
I am grateful for deep, long breaths
I am grateful I can feel my heart beating, and energy running through my whole body
I am grateful for birds singing, sunrises, and sunsets, the beauty of the beach in morning,
and at night with the moon sparkling on the water
I'm grateful for the color of water at night, that serene blue like heaven,
I am grateful for the love of music, filling me with peace and self expression,
I am grateful I am loved unconditionally by God and that I may love back,
I am grateful for my amazing son
and for his smile, and his happiness, his snuggles, and laughter
I am grateful he is healthy, smart, and fun
I am grateful my husband KC loves me and takes care of me,
And I can trust him to always be there for me,
and I can always just be myself with him
I am grateful for my fuzzy, sweet puppy Oliver,
who sleeps in my lap, and at my feet, and licks my toes and face,
and rolls over to be pet, perfectly content
I'm grateful for our comfortable couch and bed, and
wonderful places to rest my body, and the ease it feels resting
I'm grateful that my body gets stronger every day, and its vitality,
I'm grateful for my remarkably healed brain that is capable of great things,
I'm grateful I get the chance to be completely who I really am, all the time
I'm grateful for my healing gifts both for myself and others
I'm grateful that I'm filled with God's grace, angels, and heaven, and Reiki healing energy,
I'm grateful for EFT and my mentors,
healing me and spreading healing throughout the world,
I'm grateful that God and Jesus have filled me with heaven and hold me up when I call,
And I'm grateful that hosts of angels protect me and heal me,
and all I have to do ask
I'm grateful for the protection of fierce angels,
keeping negative energies at bay and negative thoughts or feelings of others outside my awareness
I'm grateful that I can focus on feeling good, complete, whole, and healed.
I'm grateful that I am already healed, and I all I have to do is hand it over to God,
so that I may be carried, fully in faith knowing I am already whole and healed
I'm grateful for this second chance to live my life as my best self expression,
I no longer have to hide, or ever be afraid,
as I am now a living prayer, my God within me and beside me.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Gratitude to You & the Universe

I feel like I've made it through the dark night of the soul, and I am so grateful.  I'm grateful for a full breathe of air in my lungs. I'm grateful for this sweet dog laying by my side, surrendering with his puppy love of contentment.  He's not afraid.  He is just here being his sweet self.  I'm grateful I can see out of my window, and it looks clear and beautiful.  I'm grateful I even know that it's morning.

I'm grateful that my brain and mind are intact, and I'm at ease in my body. I can feel new signals forming, and there is an open space in my head of peace and light, rather than the pressure that used to dwell there. It feels open and light, blue, filled with fairy dust.

I'm grateful for my life: that I still have it, and that it is so sweet, and so filled with people who are lights to me, and who love me more than I ever knew.

I'm grateful for God restoring me to health- I can see that it is only a matter of time till my body sorts through its new signals and gets through treatment. These medications will be tapered so that I no longer need them. I am already healed and well.

I'm grateful for the Earth Angels in particular who held me up when I couldn't... Most especially my precious husband KC. If there were an MVP in getting me better, he would win it. I'm also especially grateful to my parents, for putting their lives on hold to make sure I was in good care. They take care of things of a practical nature and make sure I get the care I need. They fill me with love and good food, and keep track of details I certainly cannot.

My team of at-home evening care somehow always knew what to do, even those who didn't know me well before. Thank you for taking time out of your lives to help me through the night. Special thanks to Renee, Jenni, Sally, Rosie, and Kari. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I always felt safe with you. You believed in me, you trusted me, and you “saw” me the whole time.

Thanks to the food bringers and smiling faces with hugs, and cards, and gifts. It is so nice to feel so loved.

I don't remember most of the Earth Angel nurses in the hospital by name, but I remember them by spirit: the ones who look you in the eyes and ask you what you need. The ones who notice that you are fully present, even if you cannot express the right words. You are beautiful. You are doing God's work in many small and wonderful, and huge ways with your gifts of compassion and listening. You are healing others simply with your kindness. I pray that you take care of yourselves too, so that you can be overflowing with the compassion and love you so freely give. Thank you.

Thank you to my surgical staff as well, who handled me with compassion and respect. I give special thanks to the gifted, talented neurosurgeon Dr. Patel. When I awoke from surgery, I instantly knew it was a success, as I still had all my senses and was still fully “me”. Your hands were guided by God, and you are doing miraculous work here on Earth. What a blessing you are to your patients.

To Nanzie and Roger who set up a fund for us on, and to all those who have contributed- Thank you! That is an unexpected gift, and so very helpful. It gives us great peace of mind to have something to fall back on for our loss of work and the medical bills headed our way. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

To those who have and still are sending me healing, prayers, and Reiki, thank you. I feel the energy several times a day, and I know it is healing me beyond science.

To my clients who are coming in to see the other therapists, thank you.  You make it possible for me to keep the business open in my absence.  Healing Hands is a labor of love, and I hope to return to it as soon as possible.
To any I've missed with my thank you's, thank you, and I apologize. I just had brain surgery. You know who you are, and that we are grateful for what you've done for us.

Thanks to you all.

Thursday, September 6, 2012


I will be taking limited appointments for the week of September 17th-20th, when I will be well recovered from surgery, and before the rest of my treatment begins.  I would love to see some clients!  Because I love what I do.  Please contact me via e-mail at, or call the office line 843-696-1342.  Thanks!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Conversations with God

When I awoke from brain surgery, I was completely aware and lucid.  I knew immediately that my brain and self were intact.  I could think, I was me, and I tested all my senses.  I spoke to the nurse and was understood. 

In my head, in the gap where the tumor was, I was filled with the presence of heaven.  I saw in my head where an evil had been completely lifted, and instead, there was a blue window into heaven. God was beside me, showing me heaven, and filling me with it.  Blue light, male presence.  He showed me myself as a perfect mirror of heaven, created in perfection, and saved in perfection.  I was alive, filled with heaven, and completely intact.  There were neural connections reforming stronger than ever, through the drug toxins, swelling, and scarring of connections that had to be severed.  That part of my brain just needs time to reform, and there were angels hard at work, filling me with light, scraping away scar and re-establishing connections.  I could hear them and feel them, and urged them to be gentle, because they forget mortals only have so much tolerance to stay in their bodies. 

God gave me a choice.  Stay, and be intact as the real you, completely connected and unhidden, or I will carry you into heaven where there is no pain and only peace.  It was my choice.  He showed me I was already perfect, and had been covering myself with ego slices of achievement to prove something to myself.  That I was strong.  That I was tough.  But I never had anything to prove, because he made me perfect as I am.  Why hide?  I don't need to hide anymore. 

I chose to stay alive to raise my son and to be my authentic self, unhidden, uncovered by ego attachments.  I have nothing to prove.  I have the strength of heaven and angels at my asking.  I see people clearly and hold a space for them to see themselves.  That's my greatest gift, and my greatest thing to hide, because many people don't want to be seen.  They cover their shining with their ego values of achievement and status, pleasing others, and with their misbelief that they must prove themselves.

I asked God why I suffered like this, why this tumor grew, and He said I chose it.  He would never inflict pain, and we never have to suffer to grow.  I chose that path out of ego, and free will is the unbreakable rule.  We choose the suffering we experience to prove to ourselves that we are good enough, and to prove ourselves in a world that glorifies status and yearns for more achievement. 

Our greatest gift to this world is cleaning off that ego dirt from ourselves, and shining in our perfection, just as we were created, fearless and free.  No one has to hide.  Everyone is perfect.  Only you are you, and it was no accident.  That is your greatest gift to the world, to show yourself as you.  Nothing less.  Nothing more.

I chose life for me in the doorway between life and heaven, to become that true authentic self.  I have nothing to prove, or to hide, ever again.  I am fearless.  I asked for no more suffering, and was promised that I would be carried through this, if I just let it go.  I asked for gentle reminders if my ego cropped up again for achievements or status-- a tap instead of a brick to the head, this time please.  I already am important.  I have nothing left to prove to anyone.  So don't try to cover me up with your discomfort.  I'm here to be me.  You should be too.  You are already perfect, and I can see that in you.  If you need strength or protection, call for angels or helpers to come to you.  If you need healing, they will come and fill you with heaven, carrying away all illness.  You only need ask, and to follow your own deepest intuition of what "feels" right for you.

To be continued...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Stunning News, and Maybe a Window

There's a window in my head.  At least it feels like that at times.  Other times, it feels like a darkness with a scary red light inside.  I'm going to focus on the window, opening up into new possibilities and greater capacities for love and growth.  At least that's how it feels when it doesn't hurt and when I can think straight.

For the past few months, I've been having searing headaches.  Knock you over, weak in the legs, lay you up on the couch for hours headaches.  As a healer, I've tried to relate it to emotional issues-  what I've found to be the source for most physical ailments.  I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself (and that's the sensation in my head). I've been stressed over some long-term difficulties, and finding my place in the world.  I've put off vacation for too long.  I haven't been able to exercise, or had the energy to eat right and all the things I "should" do.  I haven't had the concentration for meditation, and I couldn't physically do yoga anymore, because down-dog hurt my head.  I lost my relaxation outlets.  I've been struggling for a while, and didn't know why or what was wrong with me.  I thought that I just should be able to fix it.

I thought, I'm just getting older (33).  It's from being a mommy of an active, sensitive 4 year old, and running a small business during the worst economy since the Depression.  It's not getting to see my husband enough, or to enjoy outside, because it's so dang hot out there.  It's getting wrapped up in my head too much, not enough play time, and just not enough energy to get enough play time.  Too much on my plate, too little energy to figure it all out.

But then last week, after continued pressure from my family to get it checked out (I'm resistant that way), I found out that I have a large brain tumor in my right frontal lobe.  It's probably been there for close to a year, slowly growing.  As the surgeon explained to me, that's not really a vital area.  That makes me laugh.  You need that frontal lobe for higher thinking, planning, motivation, etc., etc.  Eh, who needs it?  But my senses and my motor functions are intact.  Sometimes I'd drop things, when the headaches would flare up, but I always had plenty of warning to sit down and be safe.  Up until they put me on the medications this week, I'd been driving, walking, and talking normally, just having to take it a little slow sometimes in the evenings.

It's kind of amazing-  All this time I've had this thing in my head, growing bit by bit, while my brain worked around it, establishing new connections.  I've had memory problems, sure, searching for words here and there, but what sleepy mother of a 4 year old doesn't?  I'd walk into a room and wonder what I came in there for.  I had trouble keeping track of my schedule.  I thought, maybe hormones or lack of sleep or exercise?  My body has been craving fish (brain food).  I've been taking it really easy for the past few months, feeling guilty that I didn't do more, but just not having the energy for it. 

I've also been super sensitive and intuitive.  I probably watch too much TV, but I do wonder if my heightened intuition, sense of smell, and touch sensitivity have anything to do with these extra cells in my head.  Or perhaps with the extra connections my healthy brain had to make to keep me walking and talking around a huge barrier.

What an odd sensation.  I'm writing about it now in case later I can't quite access the words later.

It's been a scary week.  Surgery is scheduled Wednesday.  I wish it were tomorrow, but I needed to tie up some loose ends.  There I am still making plans and thinking too much.  I'm making diligent notes on everything, so that if I am completely out of it for a month or more, my bills will be paid, my wishes will be known, and my family will be taken care of.  Do you know how disturbing it is to sign your Last Will and Testament, in front of your husband and teary parents, a week before you go in for brain surgery?  To discuss final details in a "just in case" manner when you're only 33?  It's disturbing, but it does give me peace of mind to know that stuff is taken care of.  I needed that stuff in place anyway.  The timing just wasn't much fun.

On the positive side, I've always known that I'm loved.  My family isn't perfect, but it is rather amazing.  The love is much more palpable now.  I can literally feel it around me.  I hope this will bring us closer, and in a year we can say, "yeah, that really sucked, but what a blessing in disguise!"   People are falling out of the wordwork to ask me if they can do anything.  Yes, bring me good food! :)  and entertainment, in case I can't focus very well. 

Also, like anyone in a crisis situation, I can look back and re-evaluate my life and see that it's been pretty darn good.  I married my best friend and soul mate, the easiest man in the world to love.  I trust him implicitly to take care of me.  I have an amazing son.  Not just amazing, but AMAZING.  He's the sweetest creature you'll ever meet, and an old soul who likes to snuggle.  I experience love often.  Even my dog managed to find me, to take care of me, like that's what he came to the earth for.  I've had a lot of fun times, and a career that I really love.  I've seen healing miracles.  I've grown enough in this lifetime to allow myself to find my own place in life and calling.  I've just been looking to better define it and learn how to do it better.  I found the tools.  And I can forgive myself for not using them as much as I would have liked to because, well, I have a brain tumor!  I've been operating on less than optimal capacity!  I love food.  I love sunrises.  I love the beach.  I really would like to spend more time on the beach, and to jog again.  I want to visit Hawaii within the next year, and do more lazy days.  I don't have a lot of regrets.  It's all a work in process.  I'm pretty proud with what I've done with myself.

So who am I?  In the past year especially I've been examining that.  Am I what I do?  The striver? What I think, the intellectual?  What I feel?  Or is it something deeper than that?  I think it's deeper.  I feel that divine spark that tells me that no matter what happens, the real me will survive, perfectly unscathed.  It's a feeling sense of being.  Of observing.  That's the window.  I used to think that my greatest gift was my intelligence.  That may be diminished after next week, but I won't be diminished.  I was a late bloomer, so I have not put that much thought into my own physical beauty (unless I look really scary- that would not be much fun).  And although I've struggled with valuing myself mostly on accomplishments and striving, I have been able to let a good bit of that go to pursue meaningful dreams instead of direct success.  I could have done this, that, or the other, made great money, had a "success" story, but instead I was brave and became a massage therapist and healer.  That's what I came here for.

Who I am is just like you-  just a fragment of God, like a facet of a huge crystal.  We can't be harmed.  We can't be altered or marred.  We are already perfection.  If I get a little grimy and hidden, I know I'm still there.  If I can't access the words, I can still access the being, the window.

Please pray for me and my family.  Pray away our fears and our pains.  I have a lot to offer the world, and I really hope I get the chance to do so, in whatever capacity God sees fit.  I have a lot of really big dreams!  It's up to God now- I'm turning it over.  Amen to that!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Does It Mean I'm Bad if Bad Things Happen to Me?

Today I am honored to have a guest blogger:  Chip Engelmann of, one of my mentors, expert in the Law of Attraction and EFT.  I hope you feel inspired by his thoughts!  If you have trouble working with the Law of Attraction, he can help.

Does It Mean I'm Bad if Bad Things Happen to Me?

Yes and No.

Let's step back from this a bit and sort it out. You are a Being of Light and Love. There is nothing bad about you. You are perfect just the way you are. You have chosen to create expansion by becoming physically-focused. You do this by giving birth to an endless stream of thoughts. Law of Attraction organizes these thoughts in two ways.

  1. Thoughts you give birth to attract thoughts of similar vibration.
  2. The thoughts you believe to be true manifest in your physical reality.

You can be or have anything you want. In fact there is only one rule to this manifestation process.

You make all the rules.
So if your rule is:

Bad things happen to me therefore I must be bad.

Then yes, you are right. In fact, anything you believe to be true is true for you. You are right no matter what you think because you made that rule. Now the question is, is this something you want to be right about?

My guess is that the subject does not feel very good to you and is a source of contrast. And this is the way it should be. Emotions, whether you like the way they feel or don't like the way they feel, are neither good or bad.

Emotions are the vibrational expression of the thought you are thinking.

If the emotion feels good, it is in alignment with what you want in life. And if it feel badly, they are in contrast to what you are wanting in life. So if when you think that you are bad, you feel badly, it simply means that the thought does not serve you. This contrast is simply part of the process that helps you get what you want. It is a good thing.

You see, contrast gives you the opportunity to refine and re-define what you want. If you don't like the fact that “bad things happen to you,” you might want to revisit your decision that you are bad. This is probably a decision you made early in your life.

One thing I ask my clients to do is to listen to the voice that is telling you you are bad. My guess it is someone in your childhood, and most likely one of your parents. Who is it? What are they saying to you? What emotions are coming up?

No matter how you feel it is perfect. You don't have to like the way you feel. Remember, the emotion itself is just a vibrational expression of a thought you are thinking. It is information.

The first step is becoming okay with the way you feel. Even if the thought is “I hate myself.” and you don't like the way that feels, that bad-feeling is only telling you that “I hate myself” does not serve you. The bad-feeling emotion is only conveying information.

So, can you be okay with the way you feel? Is not the emotion you are feeling appropriate?

Once you allow yourself to be okay with how you feel, let the emotion run its course. What are the thoughts that are coming to you?

Once you have identified the thought that does not serve you and can understand why you chose to think it, what thought would you rather have? When you choose, try to come up with a thought that is most expansive to the situation. I find it is a good idea to remember who you are, a Being of Light and Love.

So an example of your expansive thought might be:

I am a magnificent Being of Light and Love. Every thought I give birth to expands the Universe, whether if feels good to me or not. I can't help but create expansion which is why I came to be physically-focused in the first place. There is nothing about me that is not good and loving. I am perfect just the way I am.

Let's review the steps:

  1. Be okay with the way you feel. Your emotions are just the vibrational expression of the contrasting thought you are thinking.
  2. Determine the thought that no longer serves you.
  3. Decide what you would rather have instead. Choose the most expansive thought you can think of.
This technique works no matter what contrast you are experiencing. If you would like a more detailed explanation of this technique feel free to download my eBook, Your Intuition Compass: Let Your Higher Self Lead You to a Joyful Life. You can get it at

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments section below.

I also host a teleclass Intuition Compass Weekly Tune-up every Saturday, 12-1pm Eastern Time. 

© 2012 Chip Engelmann

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Green Spring Cleaning!

All Natural Cleaning Recipes
Using all natural cleaning recipes is easier and cheaper than you think.  Purchase a few spray bottles, vinegar, baking soda, and tea tree oil, and you are ready to mix some disinfectant, powerful, all-natural cleansers to keep your house clean and chemical-free.

Natural cleaning:

Saves money!
Improves indoor air quality 
Avoids exposure to chemical toxins 
Decreases toxins leached into our groundwater 

General Disinfectant:  Mix in a spray bottle 1/2 cup of vinegar, 15 drops each of tea tree and lavender essential oils* (EOs may be purchased locally from Earthfare, or online). Fill remaining bottle with distilled water.

All Purpose Scouring Powder:  Baking Soda works great for cleaning counters and the tub. Purchase a baking soda shaker in the grocery store and refill it with a bulk bag from Costco or Sam's Club. It lasts a long, long time. Mix in a few drops per shaker of peppermint EO for a fresh smell.

Windows/Mirrors:  Straight vinegar in a spray bottle is sufficient, and also disinfects.  You will need to wipe just a tad longer than with Windex, but you will not be inhaling poisonous vapors.  Add only 2 drops of lemon EO to give it a more fresh smell and help it evaporate more quickly.

Wood:  Add 1/4 cup of virgin olive oil to a spray bottle, 5-6 drops of orange EO (optional, but it really makes a difference), and fill the rest of the way with vinegar. The vinegar cleans the wood, and the olive oil moisturizes it. If it seems too greasy, decrease the olive oil. If it seems too dry, increase the oil.  Do not use the orange oil if your furniture is in the sun.  Otherwise, this mixture is safe and effective for your fine wood.

All Floors:  Start with a bucket of hot water, add a 1/2 to 1 cup of vinegar, and 5-10 drops of lemon EO.  This is wonderful on any laminate, tile, and even hardwood.  Dry your hardwood with a towel afterwards if needed.

Carpet Freshener:  One cup baking soda with 20 drops of lemon or lavender EO, mix well. Store overnight in a sealed container to let the soda absorb the oil. Sprinkle on carpet. Leave on a few minutes and vacuum as usual. You may also put a few drops of your favorite EO on the vacuum bag before vacuuming.

Bathroom Solutions:

The Toilet -  Pour in 1/2 to 1 cup of vinegar. Sprinkle baking soda around the rim like you would Comet, and scour with a brush. For a strong disinfectant and fresh scent, add 15 drops tea tree oil to the bowl before scouring.

Soap Scum - Spray the tub thoroughly with vinegar (you can use the same solution you mixed up for windows). Use baking soda on a rag to scrub away scum. It takes some elbow grease, but it keeps the tub cleaner for longer than commercial products.

Surfaces - Scrub out the sink with baking soda. Use the above general disinfectant on surfaces. Use a bucket of warm water with 1 cup vinegar and 15 drops tea tree oil to the gallon to clean and disinfect the floor and remaining surfaces, such as the toilet seat.

*Many essential oils are highly disinfectant, most notably tea tree oil, which is as disinfectant as phenol, the industry standard. Essential Oils, as with any natural product, may cause allergic reactions in some people, so make sure that you are not sensitive to them before using them. The ones used for cleaning are safer than chemicals. Pregnant women should avoid most essential oils (and chemical toxins as well)

Enjoy your spring cleaning!

To spring clean your body, click here.