Thursday, September 26, 2013

Almost There

I only have two months left of chemotherapy treatments before I am done with it, barring any changes.  I am grateful for this, though I do struggle at times to keep my hopeful and faithful perspective.  My sister-in-law prays with me, and my EFT Mentor taps with me, and that pulls me back to the knowing that this experience will soon pass.  I look forward to being able to see more clients, and opening my schedule.  I also look forward to playing with my son more, and keeping those things that are most important in my life, such as rest, good food, time to write and to play, time with my husband and son, and with my extended family.

Whenever I forget to enjoy the simple things, like the snuggly little dog at my feet, I find myself going off balance.  It took a serious illness for me to consider my needs first: to stop overbooking, to include time every day for lunch, and to save energy every day for my little boy.  I know many of us are still in that boat- off balance and struggling to fit everything in.  I am tapping to get rid of that feeling forever.

A mentor once told me a story that has stuck with me.  A professor brought a large, glass jar to class.  In front of his students, he proceeded to fill the jar with large rocks.  When he was done, he asked his students, is the jar full, to which they replied yes.  Next he had some smaller pebbles, which he poured in.  They took up the spaces around the rocks.  "Is it full now?", he asked, to which his students replied yes.  Then he had sand, which he proceeded to fill the jar with.  "How about now?"  They replied, "Yes, it is full."  Then he produced a large glass of water, and poured it in the jar.  Now there was room for nothing else.

"Imagine this jar is your life," he said.  The things inside are the things you do with your life.  The big rocks are the most important things, such as time with your family, with yourself, for artistic pursuits, for exercise, and eating well.  The small rocks and sand are other things that fit into the cracks among the important things, like working, trying to be perfect, and errands.  The water is more of the same.  If you started by filling the jar with water or sand, you would have no room left for the most important rocks.  If you fill your life with work and errands, you may not have time to spend with your family. Think about priority while filling your life."

It's not enough to just presume your loved ones know how you feel about them.  Make the time to spend with them.  It's not enough to have dreams to be a writer, artist, or musician.  Make the time to do it.  This may require simplifying, even cutting back, changing perspectives.  Are your relationships worth less money?  It may mean getting a smaller house, or a used car.  Is that worth having time for your passion?  Is it worth the extra time to eat well if it means you feel better, sleep better, and have more energy?

The human body and soul can only go so long without being nourished by food and by love before they allow dis-ease inside.  Make the changes you've been meaning to make, and imagine how good you will feel.

I commit today to eating to fulfill my body's needs, taking the time I need to rest, saying "no" when I need to, and saying "yes" when it feels right.  I commit today to putting my needs first so that I can nourish my unique soul and contribute to the world in the way that only I can.  I commit today to honoring my gifts, and making time to use them.  I resolve to put my family before my work-- not after a project is done, not in a year or two when I've made a promotion, but NOW.  If I find myself unable to do these things, I commit myself to finding help in the spiritual or helping communities.  All we have is now.  We never know if there will be a tomorrow.


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